The Twelve Misunderstood Days of Christmas
by Sol-Ratcht Saporro
Summary: Even though Christmas was yesterday. Sol's got a lil gift for you lovely readers, not necessarily tied to TMA but you would understand the jokes better if you read it. A OneShot Christmas parody! Please R and R! Thanks!


Merry Post-Christmas! Ho-ho-ho! Did you guys enjoy Christmas yesterday? Sol's here to bring you lovely readers a gift! It may be a day late but here I present, The Twelve Misunderstood Days of Christmas!

**A/N: Most of the jokes are really much freebased, but to get a good idea on what I'm talking about I suggest you read The Misunderstood Asylum. There's also some stuff that will spoil the next chapter but I won't say exactly what**. **XP **

"The Twelve Misunderstood Days of Christmas"

By: Sol-Ratcht Saporro

The remaining crew is still sitting in the mansion main room as the day drifts by. It is Christmas Eve and Solar is vastly setting.

"Man, this is the suckiest Christmas EVER!" Kylette yelled out of nowhere

Everyone turned their heads towards the twin-tailed fox girl, then they turned their heads away.

"Ugh! Why isn't anyone paying attention to me?" Kylette stood up "Hello, I'm trying to be serious. When are you guys gonna take me seriously?"

"When you realize that "suckiest" isn't a word." Zane replied back

"Well, it's true isn't it? This is going to be the suckiest Christmas ever……Grrrrr….No food, no presents, no alcoholic egg nog. This blows….." Kylette sat down on Fox's lap.

Everyone else groaned as well because they knew it was true.

"You know….." Sarge butted in "I just wish that we could actually spend a real Christmas together guys."

"Yeah." Everyone else replied

"You know everyone, times like this, I believe the author is trying to get us to stick together and become a family." Rollinda said

"Yeah! I totally agree with you Rollinda!" Ava smiled and nodded

"Hmph….." A'Lou couldn't help but interject "And it's times like this, Rollinda, when you just need to shut the fuck up. Bad enough that we don't have any food but no gifts or anything! Not even music……So don't try and be a goody-goody let's all just shut up and let the time pass us by. In a hurry…… "

"What's your problem Lou?" Wolf sneered at her "Are you PMS-ing? You sure act like it……"

"Wolf, why don't you shut your perverted trap. I know you're trying to start something."

"It must be your time of the month, so I'll leave you alone." Wolf gave a crooked smile as A'Lou gave him the finger.

"Bastard……" She muttered

"Please you two…..let's just try and be happy. It's Christmas Eve!" Ava pleaded

"Oh, all right sweetheart……if you say so." Wolf nodded

"Yeah, okay kid." A'Lou agreed as well.

"Well, this isn't what I expected……You guys are supposed to be happy! What's is the meaning of all this moping." I said out of nowhere

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Everyone screamed in fright

"God?" Ace whined

"God? Huh? It's me Sol….The author."_ Why do they think I'm God all of a sudden_

"Oh Sol!" Kylette screamed "Uh…..waitaminit…..we can't see you. Can you come out we can't see you?"

"Oh…..well meh, whatever…..not like I have any time on my hands." So, I made a portal device and I magically appeared in front of the whole crew as a cat girl.

"Hey, Sol…..you look like kinda cute. You wanna……you know?" Wolf cracked a wide ass grin.

"Oh Wolf….Hee-hee-hee! I-I don't know what to say." Me grinning like an idiot. "Ahem, what am I saying? I am here to bring some holiday cheer! Christmas is here before you know it. Yup yup! So let's get ready to get into the spirit of Christmas! Okay?"

Everyone else groaned.

I made a sad face, then an idea came into my head, "Aha! I know how to get you guys all with Christmas cheer." With the snap of my fingers the mansion was full of Christmas decorations and the weather was snowy and most importantly there was a big, fat, spread of food. Food of all varieties, from roasted ham to turkey to all sorts of sides.

"…………………." (O.O) Everyone just stood there looking at the spread then in seconds flat they dashed toward the food.

"Huuuuh! Not so fast everyone, Force Field!" I yelled and everyone smashed up against the magical new barrier.

"What the hell was that for Sol?" Kylette rubbed her nose

"Yeah!" A'Lou growled too "I wanna eat dammit!"

"Hold on now, we're gonna sing some Christmas Carols for everyone else. Then we can eat."

"WHAT?" Everyone else screamed

"I'm sorry Ms. Sol, but….." Ava stammered with her words "I don't think none of us can sing on an empty stomach."

"That so?" I shot a brow

"Yes, very….." Ava bowed her head

"Well okay……chow time is thirty minutes and then when I come back, we're gonna sing. Got that everyone?"

"Yes, Ms. Saporro."

"Great! See you in thirty minutes." I started to leave the house then Zane ran up behind me.

"Sol!" She said.

"Yeah?"

"I was wondering……." Zane looked left and right secretively "Is the egg nog over there alcoholic?"

"Yeah, Aren't all of you of legal age?"

"Yeah, yeah! I…..was just wondering. Thanks."

**30 Minutes Later……….**

I jumped back into the house via window "HI GUYS! I'm back! So let's start caroling! Okay? Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I brought back some people that died in the beginning to join us for this celebration. Peppy, Krystal, Slippy and Panther will all be joining us! So, are we ready to sing sing SING?"

"Fuck you….." Wolf hissed then burped "Sorry……

"I so don't do singing……." A'Lou scoffed

"AVVVAAAAAAA! I LOVE YOU AVVVAAAAAAA! I WILL SING FOR YOU!" Andrew bawled out.

"Huh? I don't care! Hic! As Long as I get more egg nog! With a lot more alcohol in it!" Zane was flimsy with her movements

"So, I take that as a "Yes"! Great wonderful! Okay! Now, the first song I picked is "The Twelve Days Of Christmas" Each of you all will draw a paper from this hat. If you actually get a number you can't say what it is until it's your turn to sing. With that being said, let's draw some numbers shall we?" I went around and made sure everyone drew a paper out.

"Okay! Now, with magic, I will have a piano appear out of nowhere." I snapped my fingers and a baby grand piano came out of nowhere. I took a deep breath and sat at the piano "Okay! Ready?" I played a soft intro to the song then I went into the upbeat "Twelve Days Of Christmas"

"Whoever's number one take it away!" I shouted

**Krystal:** On The First day of Christmas my true love, -Looks at Kylette holding Fox-, who is Fox, gave to me……A beating to Kylette from me!

"Number two! It's your turn!"

**Kylette:** On the second Day of Christmas my true love, -sticks her tongue out at Krystal-, who does not like Krystal, gave to me……..Two Middle Fingers!

**Krystal:** -sees Kylette laughing afterwards and grits her teeth- And a beating to Kylette from me!

"Number Three GO!"

**Leon:** "On the Third Day of Christmas my true love gave to me……3 Gags for my cute teammates! –Blows a kiss at Wolf, Panther and Andrew and the three of them turn sick-

**Kylette:** "Two Middle Fingers! Hee-hee-hee!" –continues to hug Fox-

**Krystal:** "Grr….And a Beating to Kylette from me!"

**Rollinda:** "On the Fourth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me…….4 sets of handcuffs!"-Giggles-

"Hmmmmm……" Wolf scratched his chin "You liked to get tied up in bed?" He looked rather intrigued "I wouldn't mind tying your sexy ass up…..Heh-heh-heh….."

"H-Huh?" Rollinda stopped smiling "No….no….you got me all wrong. I want to arrest Star Wolf…..hehehehehehe…..whoa Wolf…….Stop thinking like that for once." Rollinda blushed

"I thought you were just the lonely receptionist……not an officer."

"Y-YEAH! I am! Anyways shouldn't we continue the song?"

Wolf looks like he doesn't buy her story. "Okay…..whatever you say Roll."

**Leon:** _That rabbit officer bitch is trying to take my man…….That won't be happening anytime soon._ –Sneers at Rollinda- "Three Gags for my teammates……."

**Kylette:** Two Middle Fingers!

**Krystal:** And a beating to Kylette from me!

**Zane:**-Heavily Drunk- On….HIC! On…..HIC! The FFFFFFFFFFFFITH Day of Curisssmuss, my true love, who I think is Wolf HIC! Gave to Meeeeeee! Fiiiiiiiiive shots of Hard Liquor!

**Rollinda:** "Four Sets of Handcuffs" –Still Blushing While Looking at Wolf making sexual gestures toward her-

**Leon:** -Loathing Rollinda- "Three Gags for my teammates"

**Kylette:** Two Middle Fingers –Now she's lightly kissing Fox's muzzle-

**Krystal:** -Cracks her knuckles- And a Beating to Kylette from me…..

**Fox:** Gulp….On the Sixth Day of Christmas my true love…..

Kylette interrupted "It's me isn't it Fox?"

"No it's me!" Krystal gritted her teeth then approached Fox and shoved Kylette off.

"Oh no you didn't….." Kylette pulled Krystal away from

"Yes, I did! Now, back off!" She snarled.

I ended on a sour note, "Ladies! Can we please continue?"

I heard a "Sorry" from both girls. "Okay, Fox, please continue." I started playing the piano again.

**Fox:** "On the Sixth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me……-Kylette nudges her head on Fox's shoulder and Krystal rubs her hips against his- Six Arwing upgrades!"

**Zane:** "Hic! What's my number? Uh…. 30 shots of liquor!"

"Zane?" Wolf tapped her on the shoulder "It's Five….."

"Huh? Why not 30? You know, HIC! 5 not that many shots to get drunk off of……."

**Rollinda:** "Four Sets of Handcuffs"

**Leon:** "Three Gags for my teammates"

**Kylette:** "Two Middle fingers……Say Krys, I bet you get that gesture often."

**Krystal:** "Go to hell……And a beating to Kylette from me!"

**Slippy:** "On The Seventh Day of….." –shot-

"Oh no my friend……" I withdrew my gun "I really don't want to hear the sound of your voice, um….somebody else take his place."

Ava nodded, "Okay! I'll do it."

**Ava:** "On the Seventh Day of Christmas My true love gave to me…..

"AVAAAAAAAAAA! IT'S MEEEEE! MEEEEEE!" Andrew yelled out of nowhere."

-Totally ignoring Andrew- "Seven new outfits!"

**Fox:** -still being smothered by two women-"Six arwing upgrades."

**Zane:** -counting with her hands- "Was it 5? 50? Dammit! I don't remember…..Um.500 shots of hard liquor! HIC!"

**Rollinda: **"Four Sets Of Handcuffs" –noticing Leon staring at her with blood red eyes- "Huh?"

**Leon:** "Three Gags For My Teammates" –Mouthing "You know what you did bitch….."-

**Kylette:** "Two Middle fingers!" –Kisses Fox once more-

**Krystal:** "And a Beating to Kylette from Me!"-Eyes Glow red-

**Wolf:**_ I can't believe I'm actually doing this stupid shit……-_Sigh- "On the Eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me….. "Eight semi-nude photos for all you sexy ladies."-He takes off his shirt and flexes his biceps.

Kylette stopped snuggling Fox for a minute, "Say…..I wonder if that includes his sister?"

Sol sidled in herself, "I wouldn't be surprised if it did."

"Look bitch! I wasn't referring to my sister. Okay correction Eight pictures for Zane, you, the two Sols, Sarge, Rollinda, Krystal, and Ava."

"Oh, okay…..Huuuh! Wolf you forgot someone!" Kylette screamed

"Really? Damn it….Who?" Wolf scratched his head

"A'Lou! Duh! Hee-hee-hee!" She giggled

"Grrrrrrr……" Wolf cracked his knuckles and stared at Kylette

"Oh Fox! Protect me!" She hid behind Fox

"………………" (O.O) _I rather not…… _Fox stood there like a bump on a log.

**Ava:** "Sev-….."

"AVAAAAAAAA! PLEASE MARRY MEEEEE!"

She took a deep breath and kept singing "Seven New Outfits!"

"Marry me?" Andrew became whiny

**Fox:** -still looking at Wolf- "Gulp, Six…..arwing upgrades."

**Zane:** -looking at her hand-"Oooh! It's all colorful…..Ooh! Ahh!"

"ZANE!"

"Huh? Huh? Oh yeah the song…..HIC! Fourty, Seven, thhhhhhhree……fourty….two? Fuck! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! HIC!

I looked at Zane's drunken stupor, "Uhhh….maybe someone should take her place?"

A'Lou volunteered, "Yeah, sure why not?"

**A'Lou:** Fiiiiiiiiive Brass Knuckles!

**Rollinda:** -Mouthing to Leon "What the hell are you looking at lizard?"- "Four Sets of Handcuffs!"

**Leon:** -Signaling the death sign to Rollinda (hand across the neck)- "Three Gags For My Teammates!"

**Kylette:** -Still laughing at Wolf- "Two middle fingers!"

**Krystal:** And a beating to Kylette from me!

**Sol:** -Vocalizing- "Onnnnn……the ninth Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayaaaaaaaaaayaaaaaaaaaayaaaaaaa……….."

"SING ALREADY!" Everyone screams at her

"Fucking show-off….." Sarge hissed

"Ahahahahaha! Obviously, you guys are envious of my singing capabilities." Sol's ego sure as hell showed right about now.

"Ava can sing too! But you don't hear her vocalizing like an arrogant ass." Sarge replied

"Tch, whatever Sarge. Ahem, On The Ninth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me…… Nine Pints Of Bloo- Erm….Uhh….Uhh….."

"What was that?" Sarge smiled "If I didn't know better, I believe you said BLOOD!"

"No, no why do you always have to assume the worst. I was going to say "Blue Paint" See?"

"What the hell kind of paint comes in pints?" Sarge asked

Sol whispered in Sarge, "Shut the hell up and let's continue shall we….?"

**Wolf:** -Still Flexing his muscles at the girls- "Eight sexy photos of me!"

**Ava:** -Blushing extremely at Wolf- "Oh My……Seven New Outfits!"

**Fox:** "Six Arwing Upgrades."-Envious of Wolf-

**A'Lou:** "Fiiiiiiiive Brass Knuckles!"

**Rollinda:** "Four sets of Handcuffs"-Not even thinking about Leon because she's looking at Wolf-

**Leon:** -Drooling over Wolf- "Three Gags For My Teammates……" _Oh Wolf, how, I would love to use one on you._

**Kylette:** "Oh Foxie….." She nuzzles up with Fox "Two Middle Fingers!"

**Krystal:**-Looking at Wolf- "And…….a…….beating…..to Kylette from me………"

**Andrew:** -Growling at Wolf- _You won't take my Ava away!_ "On the tenth day of Christmas my true love, whoisdefinatelythatcutelilrabbitovertherenamedAva, gave to me…….ten Sexy Photos of AVA! OH HOW I LOVE YOU!

**Sol:** -Being groped by Falco all of a sudden- "Ewww…..Nine Pints of Bloo-erm Blue Paint!"

**Wolf:** -making sure Zane is Sober enough to pay attention to him- "Eight photos for the ladies!"

**Ava: **-Anime Sweatmarks fall from the back of her head while looking at Andrew- "Seven New Outfits….."

**Fox:** -Getting turned on by Kylette's Friction- "Sex…..SIX! Arwing Upgrades.Oops."

**A'Lou:** -Frightened by Fox's outburst- _Fox sure is a horny bastard_ "Fiiiiiiive brass Knuckles!"

**Rollinda:** "Four Sets of Handcuffs…."

**Leon:** -Still "Dreaming" about Wolf- "Three Gags For my teammates…..-sigh-."

**Kylette:** -Whispering in Fox's ear "I guess my charm worked huh?" then, Kisses Fox on his Muzzle several times and giggles- "Two Middle Fingers……"

**Krystal:** -steam blows out of her ears- "GRRRRR! AND A BEATING TO KYLETTE FROM MEEEE! –Tears the two foxes apart from each other-

"Hey what'd you do that for you bitch?" Kylette snarled

"Go somewhere else……."Krystal hugs Fox

"Kylette….." Fox whined "I want….I want….."

**Peppy:** On the Eleventh day of Christmas my true…..BLLLOOOOEEEEGH! HACK! COUGH HACK! UGH! –Has a heart attack-

"Uncle! Uncle! Are you okay?" Rollinda runs to her uncle's side.

"Peppy!" Fox yelled "Get off me Krystal this is important." Fox threw Krystal to the ground.

"Oof!" She grunted.

"Oh no!" I stopped playing the piano. "Cardiac arrest……someone get me the defibrillator. NOW!"

"Here!" Ava came back in a flash

"Okay! Everyone stay clear! Delivering shock now."

BZZZZZZZZT! Peppy was shocked and he became conscious.

"Ugh….." He groaned

"Whew……." Everyone sighed relief

"Okay….I guess we'll continue?" I sat back at the piano and Rollinda and Fox were tending to Peppy. "Ready?"

"Peppy's alright, he needs to stay on the ground." Fox said

"Uncle do you want to keep singing?"

"Yeah, yeah, I don't want to spoil the spirit because I had one flimsy heart attack.."

_Flimsy Unc?_ "Well okay…..I'll be here with the defibrillator if you need me."

"On The Eleventh Day Of Christmas my true love gave to me…….Eleven Defibrillator Shocks!"

"Seriously Uncle?" Rollinda's ears perk up and concern hit her eyes

"Yes, my heart's feeling weak again."

"Oh God….Everyone clear!"

BZZZZZZZT!

"Oh yeah…..the good stuff." Peppy smiled

**Andrew:** Ten Sexy Photos! Muah! Muah! -Kisses Ava on her hand-

**Sol:** "Falco….." –Still being groped- "Nine pints of bloo-Erm Blue Paint."

"Oh Sol……you are the sexiest girl I laid eyes on." Falco squeezes her tightly

**Wolf:** "Zane? Are you even alive? Oh yeah, Eight sexy photos for the ladies."

**Ava:** "Please stop Andrew….."-Tries to move her hand away from Andrew- "Seven New Outfits."

**Fox:** -Looking at Rollinda shocking Peppy for the sixth time- _I hope he's alright……_ "Six Arwing Upgrades."

**A'Lou:** -Also looking at Peppy and Rollinda- "Fiiiiiiiive brass knuckles!"

**Rollinda:** "Clear!"

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

"CLEAR!"   
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

**Leon:** "Uh……Three Gags For My Teammates."

**Kylette:** "Oh Foxie….hee-hee-hee! You are so considerate. Two Middle Fingers!"

**Krystal:** "Fox and Kylette….I hate you…..And A Beating to Kylette AND FOX from Me!"

"Like That's supposed to scare me and my man……" Kylette rolled her eyes.

**Panther:** -Looking at Krystal-Rowr….. "On the Twelfth Day Of Christmas my true love gave to me…..A Dozen Roses for the fair Krystal.-Hands Krystal a rose but she turns into a pile of ashes with her enraging fury.- "Wow……"

**Peppy:** BZZZZZZZZZT! "Eleven…..argh! Defibrillator…….shocks……Ugh!" –Passes Out-

"Oh no Uncle! Don't you die on me!" Rollinda readied the defibrillator once more

BZZZZZZZZZZT!

BZZZZZZZZZZT!

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

**Andrew:** "Oh Ava……please be my wife….."-Hugs Ava-

"Andrew……." Ava sounded annoyed

**Sol:** -Still being groped by Falco-"That's it…….I'm getting hungry."

"But, Sol we ate not too long ago……" Kylette told her.

"I'm not talking about THAT kind hungry……" Fangs seemed to elongate out of her mouth. "I'm talking about….." She quickly turned around and bit Falco on the neck, then she sucked all his blood out of his body and tossed his lifeless body on the floor. "Blood….." She simply said "Nine pints of Blood…….Sweet Sanguine Crimson Thick Blood…..AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"………………." (O.O) Everyone (including me) stopped to stare at her for a minute

"KEEP SINGING!" Sol Roared out loud

**Wolf:** "Eight sexy photos for the ladies."

"Hey….." Zane seemed to be out of the zone "Who are you?"

"Zane……you obviously been drinking WAY too much and I think you should stop."

"You look cute…..Do you wanna take advantage of me?"

"…………."_Is she serious……Oh thank you Lord! Hehehehehehehehe!_ "Say you look parched, you want another drink while you're at it sexy?"

"Yeah! Let's go to your room! And have some fun! Whooo! Hey Look! Egg Nog!"

SPLOOSH! Zane's head was fully submerged in the punch bowl full of egg nog.

"Oh Zane…….I don't even think I wanna have sex right now. That look is so unsexy for you."

**Ava:** "Andrew quit it!" –Pushing Andrew off her- "Seven New Outfits!"

**Fox:** -Muttering to Kylette about going to his room to do some stuff beyond T-rating- "Oh yeah, Six Arwing Upgrades…..So how about it?"

"Sure! Take me away babe!" Fox heaved the twin-tailed Fox over her shoulder and carried her up to his room.

**A'Lou:** "Fiiiiiive…..What the hell am I still singing for?" –Walks towards the garden-

"Hey A'Lou?" Ace said "You wanna smoke some weed?"

"Ace what are you doing here…..you're a cop."

"So?" Ace took another whiff " I could say the same for you."

"Shut up and roll me up a joint……this Christmas Blows…." A'Lou sat down next to Ace.

**Rollinda:** -Still treating Peppy- BZZZZZZZZT! "Four Sets of Hand---Ooh! Wolf stop!"-Wolf gropes her-

"Wanna reenact our Bathroom scene, sexy?" Wolf traced his hands up and down her shoulder

"Uhhhh…." She looks around. "Yeah, come on. And this time, don't be so rough on me." The two ran upstairs

"Hey! What about Peppy?" I shouted to Rollinda

"Man, he was gonna kick in soon anyways. Don't worry……" Rollinda yelled before she closed the door.

"Oh boy….." I had an anime sweatmark on my head

**Leon:** -sobbing- "Three……gags for my teammates…..who don't love me….."

**Kylette:** "Two Middle Fingers! Oh Fox! Stop! Hee-hee-hee! Oh! Such an animal! Oh! OH! OH!" She kept screaming

**Krystal:**-super gritting her teeth- "And……..A…..BEAT-ING to KY-LETTE from ME…THAT TEARS IT!" She ran up the stairs most likely to start a cat fight with Kylette.

I got up from the piano "Wow! That was wonderful! YAY! We should do it again! Oh what the hell am I talking about……? I wouldn't even consider doing another song with you guys." _I wonder what A'Lou and Ace are up to?_ I walked towards the garden as well and I said, "Hey guys…..Mind if I try some of the herb?"

"Naw…..Go right ahead. Although, try to keep it away from Ace he's a little hysteric."

"AHHHH! THE PURPLE DONKEYS AND PINK UNICORNS ARE GOING TO SACRIFICE ME TO THE GREAT FRICASSEED CHICKEN! AHHHHHH! ANGEL DUST!" Ace stripped off his clothes and ran away from the house. "SAVE YOURSELF! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

"……………….." (O.O) Both A'Lou and I looked at Ace fleeing the house.

Back at the house……….

"AAAAAAH!" Krystal fell from the second floor right in front of Sarge, Panther, Ava and Andrew. Then Kylette and Fox came out of the bedroom.

"And that's what you get….." Kylette yelled as she dusted herself off "Next time you interfere, you won't live through the fall bitch! Oh! Merry Christmas From The Misunderstood Asylum!" Everyone else joins her.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

"And don't forget to keep reading The Misunderstood Asylum!" I yelled out of nowhere.

"Yeah!" Everyone else agreed and waves at the readers "Bye Everyone!"

The End 


End file.
